Upon arriving at Cabot after a mostly uneventful journey to Bristol, we drove around and around and around the car park, which had lied and told us that it, in fact, had spaces for us. Eventually, we snuck in a space and went forth to shop. We stood around for a bit in an indecisive manner, pondering
about where to go for lunch. After much deliberation, we decided that trusty
Nandos was the answer. I was in agreement with this, as I felt that it was
about time that I ended my boycott of Nando’s, which had
started due to an unfortunate incident where I swore at the manager of
the Portsmouth branch after he wouldn’t give me a job. My bad.
Now, bearing in mind that Nando’s has a chicken on its sign and is famed for basically only selling chicken, it baffled me to discover that it also sold steak. Who knew, right? My friend Jess (aka The Flavor Hater) decided that a steak sandwich was the right way forward. However, upon biting into it, she realized that it was entirely the wrong way forward. Made mostly of gristle and fat and resembling the sole of a shoe, it meant that Jess, usually a picture of manners and decorum, ended up wrestling to try and take a bite out of what was essentially a piece of bicycle tire.
You’ve got to hand it to Nandos though I suppose, they have never claimed to be experts at cooking anything else beyond chicken and they did give Jess a full refund without question. Perhaps they knew that cooking steak was beyond their capabilities and they were just giving it a butchers (paha). I had no such problems as I decided to play to Nandos strength and went for a quarter chicken.
Following this hearty (or not in Jess’s case) meal, we descended on the shops. Bearing in mind that I am going on holiday twice in July (once again – check me out!), I have rather a lot to buy before then. However, despite the shopping trip being fruitful for everybody else, I left empty handed, which is always fairly depressing.
We arrived back to Jodi’s house at around half past 7(!) after popping to the shops to stock up on wine. As per usual, Jess and I chose our wine purely for for classy, grown up reasons such as vintage, grape variety etc etc… who I am kidding. We chose it for two reasons only – the fact that it was half price and that it had a comical description – after all, we decided, who doesn’t love a bit of ‘length and texture’!?
To add to the class and maturity, Jodi’s fiance Luke brought out her birthday cake, which was the classic Caterpillar cake, complete with smarties face and chocolate coating – the ultimate in childhood nostalgia.
We then indulged in some very healthy(ish) cheese and crackers from the mountain of cheese provided by Jodi. I’ve come to the conclusion that Jodi is a feeder and one of her aims in life is to fatten up her friends.
More wine was consumed and then disaster struck. Tears were shed and the entire room was pretty much dismantled. Whilst absent-mindedly fiddling with her engagement ring (that sounds a bit filth – sorry), it fell off of her finger and disappeared. Panic ensued. The sofa was lifted and bags were sifted through. After a good half an hour, we were baffled. Where could it possibly have gone? During this chaos, a perfectly inconspicuous looking boot had been sitting in the corner of the room. We had shaken it several time with no result. On about the tenth shake of the boot, as if by magic, there was the ring. Panic over. Unfortunately, having had a fair amount of alcohol by this point, I did not photograph the mysteries ring-swallowing boot. Sorry.
After this debacle, at around 1 am I had the inspired idea that we should go out. Like, clubbing. And apparently, I have a voice of authority because at half 1, we arrived at Oceana, having made a drunk effort to put on makeup (with this kind of
effect) and wearing the same clothes I’d been in all day plus some borrowed
boots.
Casual drummer/ saxophonist/ all round beb in Oceania.
We stumbled back in at 5.30am, turned the living room into one big cushion and got around 3 hours sleep. Shockingly enough, I was void of a hangover, partially thanks to a delightful fry-up courtesy of Luke. Nom nom, get in my belly, I exclaimed, and get in my belly it did.
At around 11, I ventured back to Devizes in a sleepy stupor before going to see the new Star Trek film, which I really enjoyed due to my inner Trekkie. Gotta love a bit of Benedict Cumberbatch and Chris Pine of a Sunday evening.
Over all, in the grand scheme of things, I had an excellent weekend welcoming Jodi into the land of the old, where the teen years are all but a distant memory. I learnt much, including the fact that Nando’s should stick to their day job, that some boots have the ability to swallow items of jewellery and that on occasion, you will find a saxophone player rocking it out in Oceania in Bristol.
A successful outing, I feel.
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