Madrid - Getting Totally Cultured.

When the sun rose on the third day, the glittering, storm soaked pavements from the night before were all but myth (watching the Madrid residents try to drive in the rain made me chuckle somewhat). Alas another sunny and crazy-hot day was upon us. We packed up our belongings (boo) and took them down to reception for them to store away.

Today was the day that I was going to get cultured, learn to love modern art and get some enthusiasm for all things Picasso. Today was the day that Jai and I were going to visit the very famous (?) Reina Sofia Art Gallery and I would apparently learn not to be a philistine. 

So off we went. Since the queue for the Salvador Dali exhibit was around about 8 miles long, we took the decision to skip that and just have a nosy around the rest. After paying for us both (since I was, by this point, penniless, all thanks to petty crime) Jai led me into the gallery. I was, at this point, still feeling fairly skeptical.

OK, so a lot of the gallery was VERY STRANGE INDEED. Here are some of things that stood out to me as being particularly pointless/ hilarious:

'nuff said,

Plain red canvas anyone?

Pretty sure that this looks like some kind of kinky swing gone wrong...

Oh My Word. This painted ceramic man scared the bejesus out of me!

Bit of a nimble way to transport your bike!... not gonna lie - I kinda like this one!

Casual blue mustache pubes and scary pointy boobies!

Saying all of this, however, it was quite exciting to see some very famous Picasso paintings, including the 'Guernica' and there were a couple of things I actually genuinely liked. I'm not saying that I fully understood the artistic intent or whatever, but these were just quite nice to look at.

British Gas advert anyone?

Under The Sea - although sadly lacking Ariel and Sebastian

Once we had trekked around all 4 floors of the gallery, we decided to get lunch and then head to Buen Retiro Park, one of the largest parks in the city. Aside from the horrific prices for drinks and ice creams (€3 for a bottle of water! Man alive) it was really rather beautiful, with its fountains and boating lake and statues! 

It also contained (much to Jai's enjoyment) a couple of buildings housing some more art - this time temporary installations. I have to say, I did enjoy and understand these slightly more.

I think maybe I liked this one because I got to pretend I was Rose off of Titanic

Some, however, I did not.

After this, virtually penniless, we headed to Madrid Airport on the Metro. Quick bit of advice - if you decide to get this mode of transport to the airport, be aware that there is an extra (quite pricey) premium for using the Metro to the airport on top of your usual fair. We did not know this, and being rather poor between us, we had a minor panic. Don't worry, loverly reader, it was fine - we made it! 

It was when we went to check in our bags after standing in the mahoosive queue that the real problem occurred. Somehow, my suitcase ended up being sent into the depths of Madrid airport (which, by the way, is MASSIVE) without a luggage label on it. Really. This sort of crap only ever happens to me, I swear. 

After about half an hour of mixed messages and misunderstandings, the orange and rather ditsy check in lady eventually admitted what she had accidentally done and my suitcase was apparently found and labeled. Thank god my suitcase it so bright and gaudy! When I got my suitcase back at the other end it was genuinely like Christmas day, I'm not even kidding you. I got some very strange looks for the strangled whooping sounds and the dancing - not sure why...

When we eventually got to the gate with very little time to spare, it was very apparent how poor we really were between us. Jai had to swap a Euro for a pound off of a very bemused lady and when we got on the plane, between us we could afford the sum total of 1 drink and 2 packets of Pringles. Nutritious. She used her card in the end but still. I'm pretty sure, cash-wise; we were the skintest on the plane

Anyway, after all of this drama, I had time to reflect upon the fact that, apart from the odd (large) drama, my time in Spain had been fab. For the most part, great company, great food and great weather are all you really need on a relaxing summer holiday and I had these things in abundance. 

Adiós España, see you soon babes.  

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A Casual Jaunt to Murcia, Part 2

If you decided to continue on this tale from the previous installment, then welcome back! If you have decided to skip part 1, then don't worry, it doesn't matter, this isn't like Harry Potter book 7, you're still gonna know whats going on! 

Day 4

We rejoin our Spanish escapade on day 4, which dawned brightly but not as early as planned. I got up around 9.30 with a miraculous lack of hangover considering the strength of the drinks from the night before. For Jaime, however, things weren't so chirpy. Turns out, if you're her, not wearing a sun hat in a water park and then drinking gin is a bad plan. Cue Sun Stroke. 

I decided, in her absence, to nip to the shops to buy some ice lollies, some Oreos and some bread sticks (3 for €1!) - the essentials, obvs.

 

By lunchtime, however, the worst of the Sun Stroke had passed and we set off on the planned trip to Cartegena, an ancient Roman city about 15 minutes on the train away from Balsicas. We rolled up at the train station at approximately 1.01pm, only to find out that the ticket office closed at 1 for siesta. Hrm. After much confusion, it is eventually decided that we can pay on the train. No-one asked us though, so like naughty shop-lifters, we got off the train in Cartagena and walked off looking guilty as sin.

Once we were there, we wandered through the city from the train station (its quite far out) and took in some sites. Due to it being siesta time, most things were shut, but there was still plenty to see.

Being a boiling hot day, we went to find a drink. It was in the bar next to the Roman Amphitheater called 'La Catedral' that we discovered the biggest surprise of the day. As I bought my drink, the barman asked if we had ever been to the bar before - we hadn't, so the guy told me to look down. It was only then I realized that the floor that we were standing on was, in fact, made of glass. Underneath was the original Roman floor and as the bloke from the bar gave us the grand tour, it turned out that this hidden gem had a whole host of Roman features.

It did transpire, though, that Mr-Helpful-Barman had other motives, which were made apparent as he let us out of the side door, he asked me to come back and meet him after his shift ended. Clearly this did not happen. Don't let this put you off though - it really is a facinating little place and I'm pretty sure he would show you around whether or not he wanted to get in your knickers!

After this, things started to open again, so we decided to get a bit more history on by visiting the giant Roman Amphitheater (although we couldn't actually find how to get in!).

  

We then went on a tourist boat trip around the harbor, which was quite fun and relaxing although I don't know if I'd really recommend unless you have an interest in naval history.

It was very hot on the boat, and the shops were calling, so after this we went in search of an icecream and a Zara. 

This was from a little Japanese-looking frozen yogurt chain called 'Smooy' - genuinely amazing!

It was after this we took the misdirected decision to go exploring, which all went wrong after we decided to take a mysterious outside esculater and then after I made Jai climb a giant hill to find a great view.

Following this we ended up walking around for approximately 127 hours, viewing sights such as a health center, an air raid shelter museum and several weddings. Eventually we made it back to the seafront where we decided the best course of action was to have a Burger King and then a coffee. Further confusion ensued when we released that we didn't know where the train station was or where to get a taxi from. After a manic searching and much panicky Spanish-speaking (from Jai - clearly) we eventually made the last train of the day. PHEW. Then on to bed.

Day 5

On day 5 we went to the beach in Santiago De La Ribera, using the fit Ricky Martin-alike taxi driver from before. It's a lovely beach, although quite busy. Due to the fact it is in the  bay of Mar Menor, the sea is calm and warm, although I would advise that you stick to the left of the Yacht Club. Don't be taken in by the fact that the other side is quieter - this is because the sea on the other side is like walking on quick sand. Not that we fell foul of this or anything. Nope.

  

Nothing particularly eventful happened on that day, although it was really nice and chilled, I topped up my tan, had a mojito and finished my book.

That evening, we finished some leftovers, had our last homemade sangria and packed up our stuff for our long journey to the Spanish Capital (more on that coming soon).

We really enjoyed our time in the Costa Calida and I will no doubt be returning in the future, perhaps next time getting a hire car if I'm feeling man enough. Maybe I'll even get to take a future bf there with me if the Bridget Jones curse is lifted from upon me (no offence Jai - you were excellent company, don't worry). I really recommend it as a much more Spanish alternative to the other Costas (you know, Costa Del Crime etc etc), with its beautiful beaches, golf (if you like that kind of thing), historical sites and toasty sunshine!

PS: here's a quick round up of all the Spanish I learned - Pan (bread), Zuma De Naranja (orange juice), Vino Blanco (white wine), Jambon (ham) and Gracias (ta). I'm practically fluent. Yeah, boi! Cheers Jai-bebs.

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A Casual Jaunt to Murcia, Part 1.

So yeah. My friend Jai and I went on a trip to Spain last week on a girly venture to boost tans, chillax, eat, drink and get a bit cultured - this is what happened!

Day 1

First off, as much as a Spanish summer holiday is totes worth rising at 2.43am for, forcing myself up off of Jai’s sofa bed and stumbling across the room to turn off my teeth-grindingly awful alarm after about 10 minutes worth of sleep is not the one. Hair askew and coffee in hand, I slapped on some makeup (don’t ask) and hauled my suitcase to my car and pro-plussed it up, ready to depart. After several minutes of trying to shoe-horn the suitcases into my tiny yet trusty Daewoo Matiz, we set off towards Bristol Airport.

All was running smoothly and the Sat Nav was behaving up until the moment we reached Box, where the roadwork people apparently felt the need to be a complete pain in the arse and send us on a massive detour, not providing nearly enough diversion signage for my liking. Eventually we managed to figure out how to get to the motorway and we made it to the airport with only a few minor hiccups.

Once there, we were surprised to see that the shops were, in fact, open, which allowed us to indulge in a Starbucks brekkie and browse the duty-free, looking through things which the airport though we might need for our journey. 

Nothing particularly exciting happened on the plane, unless you count the commencement of my puzzle book, bought in the airport WHSmith which should have been made of gold for the price they wrangled out of me for it. Other than that, all was of the norm and we got off the plane, experiencing that marvelous hit-you-in-the-face-heat-feeling most of us crave before our holidays. 

We were collected from Murcia airport by the loverly Scottish Carol, the key holder of my Parents house in the small Colsta Calida town of Balsicas. She took us to a supermarket in the town of San Javier so that we could get some water and food for the 5 days that we were staying in the region. It was here that we found some magnificent seafood for only €5 which later became a delicious Paella. We also found these, which are quite a lot like straight yumyums, with a equally comical name...

After this, we headed to the house and aside from a bit of a kerfuffle derived from my Dad not giving me all of the keys that we needed, we settled in immediately and were by (and in) the pool by 12am (TAN ME!). 

Following this we decided to have paella, cooked by Jai using the aforementioned bargain seafood and we settled down with some homemade sangria and a high brow film (I'm kidding - we watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding).

Day 2

After a long and leisurely lie in, we got up, had pan au chocolat (because you have to, even if you are not in France) and readied ourselves for the beach. This all took a mysteriously long time, meaning that by the time we got to the bus stop, it was siesta time and there were no buses. Handy. Considering our lack for hire car (as we are both giant wusses), we decided to defer the beach idea and instead did much as we did the day before - sunbathe, eat and be merry.

(I'm reading Miranda Hart's 'Is it Just Me', by the way, which is HILARE)

 

 

 Jai also took this opportunity to take some scenic photographs of the floor...

Bit weird.

That evening, we decided to indulge in the local culture and Spanish cuisine by going joining a whole host of other brits at the Wok Buffet, a wonderful (and bargintastic - all you can eat for about €10) Chinese buffet where you choose your raw ingredients and take them to the chef. They also give you free shots at the end of your meal which is a bonus!

 

We were planning to go to a bar afterwards which didn't end up happening due to an unfortunate amount of Spanish Brandy, causing me to almost fall over and being very silly around the fit, Ricky Martin-alike taxi driver with lovely tattooey arms.

Day 3

And on the third day, the lord made the water park. In this case, this water park/ zoo combo in Murcia (very easy to get to on the train from the village and then a taxi). It's a bit pricey at £25 per person, but it's great fun and the tickets are valid for 3 days, so you can do the zoo on a separate day if so desired (we didn't on this occasion). Despite the annoying kids in the lazy river (I'm such a pensioner), this childish day out was a bit of a giggle, and it did wonders for my tan (although it did give Jai sun stroke) as it was HOT up there on the hill. We also got a bit of a workout by taking part in a pool Zumba class (it seems a lot more acceptable to thrust around in public if it's in the name of fitness). 

After this mini adventure, we went back to the house and decided to go out in the village for a drink. After about 20 minutes wandering around looking for somewhere nice to go, we plumped for a nice little Spanish bar with an outside seating area. Cue very strong, cheap drinks and Jai flexing her Spanish language skills, leaving me spending much of the evening looking flabbergasted and confused and a bit drunk! Very impressed by her bi-lingual-ism however, especially considering I dropped French in year 9. Go Jai!

 

OK, so that's probably enough for this little escapade for now, as I can tell that you have either already stopped reading or you are currently praying for this to end! Stay tuned (actually don't, that would be a bit pointless and tedious) for the next installation to this marvelous tale. 

Until next time my dears =).

  

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